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Who else thinks Billy Mays is beyond human? One second you see him advertising a revolutionary cleaning product (OxiClean), and then a super epoxy compound (Mighty Putty), and now the Big City Slider burger preparation contraption. He could probably set a world record for selling pet rocks if he wanted to share his secret with us lesser peons of the consumer world.

Seriously, what does it take to get an advertising job like that? His hilarious facial expressions, flamboyant hand gestures, and especially his voice define that of a salesman. Speaking of his voice, does anyone think his tone sounds as if he’s begging you to seek the divine power behind Oxy Clean or as if his family will face certain doom if he doesn’t sell 500,000 units of Mighty Putty. To watch Billy Mays sell a product is to watch any middle-aged white guy sell a product… but with style! I firmly believe with the status of politics and our diverse resolutions to improve the economy, the government is better off promoting Billy Mays to a newly instated department – the Department-of-Selling-Useless-and-Brand-Name-Products. He and he alone will renew consumer interests in spending. 

Play on, Billy.

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As a third year medical student at Baylor College of Medicine, my posts are intended to educate others and share my experiences from this incredible journey without violating patient privacy at all costs. These blurbs are not to serve as a replacement for recommendations provided by licensed physicians under any circumstance.