Just Say No To Heels
It must have taken a true genius to devise heels. In his/her infinite wisdom, a decision was reached: the best way to leave a lasting impression on the fashion industry is to sentence people’s feet (and knees, and lower back, and spine) to death. This is a random topic that I just need to vent about, so without further ado, let the venting begin.
First of all, I have no idea why some womenfolk cling helplessly to these disastrous tokens of fashion. They’re not even pretty! Seriously, have you actually looked at high heels? Take away the fancy, shiny fluff, and all you have is a cardboard tube being propped on one end by a toothpick. And to think people have multiple pairs of these trashy shoes? What a sound financial decision! For the sake of abiding by the “rules of society”, I suppose one pair only worn to very formal events is acceptable. Otherwise (for some unknown reason), society would frown upon your attempt to be comfortable during a gathering.
Next, I have very little sympathy for those who choose to wear heels on a regular basis. That’s the funny thing about society. We put our bodies through unnecessary stress just to provide the classy image of professionalism, and what do we have to show for it? Well, how about the appealing idea of having your Achilles tendon shortened to a point where you can’t wear “normal” shoes without extreme discomfort? If that doesn’t tickle your fancy, how about the “classy image” of a nice set of calluses and bunions? Oh, and if you’re lucky enough, you may be privileged to also experience the shooting pains of Morton’s neuroma. Dang, there really should be more people wearing high heels religiously. 😉
Being a guy, this topic shouldn’t really pertain to me at all. Maybe it’s witnessing women voluntarily subjecting their bodies to physical abuse which puts me over the edge. Maybe its their notion that “high heels make me look pretty and nothing will come from wearing them” that makes me debate the intelligence behind fashion. Or maybe it’s just a consequence of my unorthodox and biased notion of beauty. A notion which detests the usage of make-up and other outlandish ornamentation like heels. One which emphasizes “natural” appearance over colored contacts, hair highlights, and other self-centered attempts to “beautify” oneself. One which appreciates mediocrity over being the center of attention. To me, those parameters describe someone who I can deem “beautiful.”
So yeah, continue wearing those high heels, oh admirable walking fashion statement. When you get to the age of 50 and your “dogs are barking”, I hope the podiatrist you come crying to is blunt and tells you that your extensive usage of heels caused your ailment(s).
…I feel a lot better. 🙂